How to say NO to others: the Essential Guide to Overcoming Social Pressure

Ended up spending another Friday night boozing and regretting it the entire weekend? We've all been there - self included. Fortunately for you, I learnt how to overcome it - and so can you. Here are the fundamentals of saying no to others, focusing on your own path and essentially; seeing epic results. I use this for my sleep clients; so note that the examples are relative to sleep. However, if you are trying to attain a different goal; for example; weight loss; then everytime you read the word 'sleep' simply substitute it for 'weight loss'. Carve your own path and create the life you truly want! 


-       First, realize you are responsible for your choices – including saying yes or no to social commitments presented, no one else. How much you will stay on track is relative to how focused you are upon the benefits of improving your sleep.

-       If you find you are consistently distracted from executing your behaviour as planned, you need to assess the benefits (if any) of the obstacles - e.g. the benefits of late night Netflix opposed to your sleep.. You need to be honest with yourself when you ask: is this compromise really worth it?

-       Despite common belief, most people do not expect you to be online until early hours of the morning, attend every social gathering or stay at each party until the last person has left. The most important aspect of any socialization is it’s quality: and this typically is not associated with the above; nor is it likely under conditions of extreme intoxication from alcohol or drugs

-       When considering your social group, the ones who encourage these new changes – therefore allowing you to sleep properly and become your best – are the ones who you want to keep. This is not necessarily reflective of how long they have been in your circle. It is important to appreciate the friendship for it’s potential to grow with you, rather than hold you back. If you feel held back, unconsciously you may sabotage the relationship simply because you feel it is restrictive.

- For this purpose, if you feel there are certain people in your life who limit your growth, ideally you are able to communicate your need to change and they will be alongside the journey. If not, t is best to gradually, and gently, distance yourself from them. This actually does them a favour; if they are with you; you both win simultaneously. If they are not; they will see you improve and be inspired, and when they are ready for similar growth, they will have a trusted individual they can look to you for advice. It does both of you a disservice to hold on to friendships which are constrictive.